Get Your trainee Organized For Back to School

Do you have a child at home who goes to school? If you do, then we all know September can be a very stressful month. Not only are children trying to get into their new schedules but so too are the parents. Change doesn't come easy to many but if you help them construct "the diminutive things" such as a duffle bag for a new sport or the top of their bedroom desk, it can carry it's weight in gold as their academic and personal lives continue to grow in complexity.

Before fourth grade teachers and parents tend to construct children in class and at home. By the time they departmentalize in middle school they are carrying the weight of the world on their backs inside a movable office if you will call it that and they will have to determine how to organize:

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Space - Backpacks, lockers and desk Paper - Binders, notebooks and folders Time - Planner or at least a calendar
"Once the technical aspects of a student's academic life are taking care of, the child can then merge on doing their work instead of locating it!" The Organized learner by Donna Goldberg

These are the same areas (space, paper and time) adults construct so we need to help our children with the basic skills they need to structure their organizing systems. Remember Posse's recipe for organizational success; Sspoe (Sort, Select, Purge, Organize, Equalize) each time you help your child construct anything.

Example: Backpack

Prior to any organizing attempt with your child make sure you have his permission to help and consist of his participation. You will see and hear solutions that you may never have idea of and most likely he will keep up the organizing because he was part of the process! Hint: If your child is unwilling to work with you, forcing him/her is going to get you both nowhere so ask again in a month or two. Discuss goals for the space. You might say, "May I help you construct your backpack and locker? This will give us an opportunity to make sure things don't get lost or too hard to find. In turn, this will help you find your papers, books, homework assignments and such as you trip back and forth to classes and our house. You'll be able to get to class on time, turn in your assignments on time and find what need for homework each night without worrying." Sort - Take everything out of the pack and together sort everything into logical categories: books, loose papers, pens, pencils, folders, electronics, money, extracurricular items, food, bus pass, cell phone holder, keys, garbage etc. Select - determine what is foremost and belongs in the backpack. What should and shouldn't have come home from school such as distinct books for homework assignments. Purge - Any thing that is obviously garbage such as food wrappers, doodling papers etc. Discuss what should not go back into the backpack such as any kind of toy. Organize / Containerize / Labelize a. construct - Put the items back into the backpack the way your child "thinks" about them. Should his books / folders / binder be in the order of his classes from morning until afternoon, should they go in order of his favorite subjects to least favorite, does he want he books together from shortest to largest or does he want to put things back agreeing to color? It doesn't matter how he does it as long as it makes sense to him and he consistently uses the same "system" daily to keep order. This way when he gets to his locker he can mimic the same set-up. If his locker and backpack are organized the same way it will save him time and mental when looking his subjects. b. Containerize - Try your best to buy a good ability backpack with several compartments so you can set-up "homes" for distinct categories of items. Make sure your child's drink area is on the surface of the pack or in a leak proof area of the pack. c. Labelize - Use a labeling engine and label the areas in the backpack such as: Books, Folders, Homework, Money, Pencil Case etc. This will be a visual reminder of where things go and kids tend to obey the signs they create. You may also want to generate a "map" of the pack or take a picture of the newly created order so they can continually refer back to it until memorization is solidified. Equalize / Enlist / Enjoy - Nobody is perfectly organized especially children. There will be backsliding of course. You'll have to reminder them daily at first and then weekly to ensure they are retention up with their maintenance. You may want to have them clean out their packs every Friday or Sunday night until it becomes routine. Clarify how foremost it is for them is achieve this ritual regularly as it will keep them organized.

Get Your trainee Organized For Back to School

Middle School Graduation and Chaotic Bedroom Redecorating - Growing Up So Soon?

With young ones graduating from Middle School, the girls are putting their exiguous princess days behind and wanting to redo the bedroom. The boys likewise don't play with their action-figures any more and yet still won't part with those toys while provocative ahead into bigger real action. The summer promises to be a big convert for all.

Those graduations are so festive for all. But the parents must brave so much to allow their young ones to grow and convert - to become what we had hoped for all along. For parents it is bittersweet, since we are attached to the child we love, but they are becoming a new someone and we need to fall in love with the emerging youth also. The youth they become is more self-determined than the child that was dependent on us. They pursue their own interests, not ours. We learn to consequent their vision, and hope to add our help and wisdom too.

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We are happy for their joy, their achievements, having done all that homework and read through those books. We recall their proud faces when they got a good grade. We recall evenings of strained effort striving to overcome a math qoute or project assignment. It has paid off and they are at the landmark they had hoped for - graduation. Now their task is to sort what they leave behind and set ahead what they will become.

Oh my, this sounds pretty deep. Well, it is a big deal, especially for the kids. Formative years, yep. These kids are in them. Right now, you are at the cusp of it all. It is like cooking a recipe. You get out the ingredients, reconsider what you are making, blend and check your progress, and it becomes the food as it cooks. Same with the kids. The ingredients are those things that pertain to who they have been and what they are becoming. Together you look it over and form an idea of what you are baking. Yet it is their recipe, so they take the lead. You also advise, encourage, set limits, and provide help.

So, their room appears outgrown; it is chaotic and unpleasant. Toys are strewn; clothes overstuff the drawers. Popular outfits do not fit, but take up drawer space. A child who once was fussy about their collections now is careless. They are unhappy with the space and irritable about touching it. It becomes a can't win and you give up, maybe by grounding them or just ignoring it. No one is happy.

You all need a fresh start.

So, let's look together at the ingredients and what they mean. All those outgrown clothes and toys are a association for the child with their younger and comfortable self. You are not the only one fearful of growing up. They are thrilled with the excitement of new developments, but know they will miss the warmth of close cuddles and story time, even if they don't say it. The old stuff keeps them connected to who they have been and the love they have absorbed. You need to find a way to keep some of that stuff close by in their life, maybe in a more orderly way.

As they redo their rooms, you also can provide structures for the new - parent approved - activities. You can talk together about their interests this summer as you design a plan for the room. It will also generate plans for the fall as you maintain their action in those things, with sports or clubs, and even trips here and there. You can delve into their interests, but be sure that they have the lead. Don't rush ahead. Don't make it your agenda; it must be theirs. As you do this, you will be practicing a parent-coaching stance, which is good to have in your toolbox for sure.

Their communication style is changing, not because they are distancing from you, but because they have a new brain. It is phenomenal what the brain does at the middle school time. It grows, it refines in focus, and grown-up abstract-type reasoning just blooms, although it is not balanced with wisdom yet. Suddenly this child can debate the causes of pollution and war. They may become opinionated, but most astonishingly they are suddenly intellectually alive! What a surprise to the unsuspecting parent.

So, this room thing, and their new interests can be a great platform to begin getting to know this new kid under your roof. Listen, begin to form coarse outlooks together. Do projects - like their room, and also other chores too, in order to design a new rhythm and language together. That part of the process is the cooking of the recipe. You might not know it, but the listening is like baking; they form so much from it.

So, the room is not just a mess to be bulldozed, it is an opportunity for growing up and growing communication and new association resources together as you all learn and listen along the way.

Happy Home Team! ~ Dr. Debi

Middle School Graduation and Chaotic Bedroom Redecorating - Growing Up So Soon?